Does it really make a difference to find an ambitious, successful woman, as hard as that is in this patriarchal world? The reason I ask is because anecdotally, I don’t think a woman’s success suppresses the innate hypergamy. Women who are millionaires seek out billionaires. In my experience, the older and more successful we become, the higher our expectations. You’d think we’d need less from another.


For sure there’s a double standard with men expecting an independently minded woman to be monogamous, while they sow their polyamorous oats.

In my opinion, the dating scene is messed up because of the fundamental confusion between emotional and tangible material value, and particularly the realization that one can get much higher utility at lower fiscal and psychological cost independently of a ‘significant other’.

Personally I’ve found joy focusing on the immense immaterial value most women can bring, dramatically reducing my expectations of utility, and relishing the unconditional love that is borne out of honest, authentic appreciation.

Thx for a lovely and thought provoking article!