How Bonding Kills Passion

Dr. Helen Fisher’s research highlights that the three phases of love—lust, romantic love, and attachment—are driven by distinct neurochemical systems that often conflict. Lust (testosterone/estrogen) fuels desire and reproduction, romantic love (dopamine/norepinephrine) thrives on passion and novelty, and attachment (oxytocin/vasopressin) promotes trust and stability. As attachment deepens, the dopamine-fueled excitement of romantic love fades, making it challenging to sustain passion, desire, and emotional intimacy simultaneously.