In their book, Our Knowledge of the Precepts of the Natural Law, John Finnis and Alasdair MacIntyre mused about what they referred to as the “marital good.” Is marriage simply an amalgam of various other goods, or services such as friendship, procreation, romance, domestic responsibilities, or is it really an autonomous distinct, analytically separable, and objective value?
Mandy Len Catron, in her article; What You Lose When You Gain a Spouse, asked: What if marriage is not the social good that so many believe and want it to be?
You might be aware that losing a life partner sometimes literally results in a heartbreak that can kill, and some budhists, and stoics even question whether attachment is in one’s best interest. Add to this the notion that what we anecdotally refer to as love is a biochemical addition to a drug we call our significant other.
If you want to be happy in this world without strife, never partner with the person you love for life.
If you want you to be happy for the rest of your life, get some loyal friends who value you.
So why not substitute loyalty, an objectively valuable good with the subjective notion of love, which is an emotion we arbitrarily construct based on our own definitions, and past experiences?
Harvard university conducted a 75-Year Harvard Study, and claim to have found the 1 Secret to Leading a Fulfilling Life.
“The clearest message that we get from this 75-year study is this: Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period….. It’s not just the number of friends you have, and it’s not whether or not you’re in a committed relationship, It’s the quality of your close relationships that matters.”
Edward De Bono in his book Lateral Thinking, admonished that we suspend judgement, challenge all assumptions, and generate alternatives. There are alternatives to marriage, or cohabitation for that matter that might yield higher emotional, and fiscal benefits at lower cost.
Cecil (CJ) John is an architect, technologist and innovator and has worked with some of the largest companies in the world including the IMF, US Federal Government and some of the top 5 consulting companies. If you like what you have read, you can follow me on Medium for more great content. You can also sign up for my newsletter or contact me by email, Linkedin or Twitter.